


Detour

by ShaneVansen



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Drama, Episode Tag, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, post-ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-18
Updated: 2012-10-18
Packaged: 2017-11-16 13:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaneVansen/pseuds/ShaneVansen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neither of them had planned on taking this particular path, but they're managing to find their way back.  (<i>Over My Head</i> post-ep with spoilers from SyFy's S3 promo ad.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Detour

**Author's Note:**

> For reasons that make sense to me (but which, I freely acknowledge, probably make sense to few people who live outside my head) this is unbetaed. It's a little overly dramatic and possibly OOC, though hopefully not too much. Any and all errors belong to yours truly.

Nathan's not entirely sure what time it is, only that the background noise of the station has faded as people stuck their heads in to wish him a good night on their way out and that the world outside his window has gone dark. It's been long enough since anyone's come to see him that he's abandoned the official reports for the more personal ones he's working on in his spare time, which is why the knock at the door startles him.

He looks up to see Claire hovering at the entrance and waves her in, closing the file over the unofficial report. "I thought everyone had left except the night shift," he says to her as she stops in front of his desk.

"Long day," is her brief reply, and then she throws him off-balance when she dives right in with a question. "Have you talked with Audrey recently?"

Confused, he leans back in his chair. "I saw her a few hours ago."

"No." Claire's voice is sharp in a way he's never really heard from her before, and when Nathan pays attention he sees the uneasiness in her expression. "When's the last time you _talked_ with her?"

Now he's starting to worry. "A couple of weeks ago," he admits. "About the time we were tracking down Harry Nix' family to keep them from becoming unwilling organ donors. She made it clear that she doesn't want me involved with her own investigation." His eyes flick to the folder on his desk; like he'd ever just sit back and do nothing when her life was at stake.

"And you believed her?" Nathan jerks a little, startled, but she's moved on before he can ask her what she means by that. "She's been sharing things with me, at least about Lucy and the Colorado Kid; there's still a lot that's off-limits but she'll talk about those things. Three days ago, though, she shut down almost completely. I'm starting to get concerned. Something's obviously happened and if she's not talking to either of us...." She spreads her hands.

Nathan nods, not entirely surprised by the news; he's noticed Audrey's withdrawn behaviour the past few days. He'd asked her if she was okay and she'd given him an utterly unconvincing smile and assured him she was fine, all without making a single second of eye contact. "Duke?" he suggests, though he hates that that's even an option.

"I don't think so. I've seen them together a few times and he's not nearly as good an actor as he thinks he is. He's worried about her too."

He can't help the brief smile at her assessment of Duke, but it only lasts a moment. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Keep an eye on her." Nathan doesn't bother responding; as if he'd do anything else. "I'm not saying she's unfit for duty, but she puts herself under a lot of pressure and I'm not sure she has any means left of releasing it. It's only a matter of time before it comes out, one way or another, and I don't know yet what that will look like."

He nods.

"And you can start by making her go home."

He straightens in his chair. "She's still here?" A glance at the clock tells him exactly how late it is. He moves to get up, Claire following him to the door.

"Don't push her," is Claire's last piece of advice as they part ways. Nathan nods in absent acknowledgement but his attention has already shifted away from her to where he needs to be.

Her door is closed and he looks through the window to see that the room is dimly lit by a lamp in the corner, casting the office in shadows. Her chair is empty, the computer turned off. Nathan's about to try the records room when he catches sight of her huddled in the corner of the couch, legs drawn up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them and her head resting on her knees, and something in his chest tightens at how lonely she looks.

Nathan closes his eyes for a moment, then lifts a hand and knocks.

***

When the knock is followed by the door opening without invitation, Audrey has her visitor narrowed down to a handful of people before she even turns her head to see who's there. There are few people who would enter without permission, fewer still who would look for her at the station at this time of night, and so she's unsurprised to see Nathan heading her way. "Hey," she says with forced nonchalance, lifting her head from her knees, though she keeps her arms wrapped around her legs.

"You look tired," he tells her, coming to a stop a few feet away, shoving his hands into his pockets.

She shrugs, not disputing his observation. "I've had a lot of late nights recently."

"Parker." She watches him shift uncomfortably before he comes to sit on the edge of the couch, twisting so that he's facing her though he's careful to keep out of her personal space. Part of her grieves that deliberate distance even as she tries to tell herself that it's a good thing; it means that he's starting to pull away from her and it's the least she can do to protect him from herself. "Something's bothering you."

"Gee, I wonder what that could be," she snaps, then pulls into herself a little more at the look on his face. She doesn't apologize, though.

"It's more than that." He lets her tone go. Audrey's not sure if she's thankful for that or not. "It's bad, no one's arguing that, but you were coping pretty well. Something's happened in the past few days to change that."

Her eyes start to blur and she drops her forehead back to her knees to hide the tears from Nathan. "I don't think I can do this."

"This?"

"Everything that's happening." The words come out muffled. "Helping the Troubled, finding the person who abducted me, figuring out what happened to the Colorado Kid, what will happen when the meteor storm arrives. I don't think I can do it."

For a few moments there's nothing but silence. When Nathan's hand lands on her shoulder she shrugs it off; she can't accept that kind of comfort from him, not anymore, not after what she's said to him and what she's seen.

"It's a lot," he agrees finally. "More than most people could handle. But you're not most people, and up until a couple of days ago you were doing okay. What changed?"

"It's nothing," she mutters.

"Dammit, Audrey!" It seems that she's finally pushed Nathan to his limits. She feels him push off the couch, hears him pacing back and forth in front of her, and his anger and frustration are clear. "There are people who care about you, people who are willing to listen and who want to help if only you'd _let_ them!"

And then she's been pushed to her limits too, which admittedly doesn't seem to take much these days. "I tried!" she cries, lifting her head. "I went to look for you, I wanted to tell you about Lucy and the Colorado Kid and the flashbacks, but you were busy!"

In a handful of heartbeats Nathan goes from agitated movements to complete stillness, and she thinks he's started to put the pieces together. "When?" he asks, and his voice is as quiet as his body is still. "When did you come looking for me?"

Audrey didn't ever want to have this conversation, but it looks like they're having it anyway. "Tuesday night," she tells her knees. It's too hard to look at him. "At the _Gun & Rose_."

There's a sharp breath followed by a long, long silence before he comes to sit beside her again. "Audrey," he murmurs, and his voice is so gentle it just makes her hurt all the more. "Let me explain."

"You don't have to explain anything to me. What you do on your own time is your business." Even if seeing him kissing another woman hurt her in a way she didn't even know she _could_ be hurt.

"It isn't what you think."

"It doesn't matter." She just wants this conversation to be over and for him to leave. It's easier for her to pretend she's happy that he's moved on if she doesn't have to be near him – and she's doing all this to protect him, right?

"It does matter," he insists. "Jordan is my connection to the Guard, my way of getting to meet the ones in charge. I have to earn her trust so I can find the person who abducted you."

"By kissing her?" she can't help but ask, even knowing how petty she sounds.

" _She_ kissed _me_. I just didn't push her away. Her affliction – she can't touch anybody without causing them pain. Then she meets me, who can't feel anything...." From the corner of her eye she sees Nathan reach out to her but he stops shy of making contact, maybe remembering how she'd blown him off just minutes ago. His hand falls to the couch between them. "Audrey, you don't— you _can't_ understand what it's like, not being able to touch anyone, not ever being able to feel another person's touch. The chance to have that again, it's... it's a powerful draw."

There's a longing in his words that makes her ache in an entirely different way, and she's so sick of how everything just _hurts_. Only a few weeks ago her life was confusing, no question, but it felt like she was starting to get a handle on things, enough that she was ready to jump headfirst into exploring what she could have with Nathan. Now it feels like everything that _could_ go wrong _is_ going wrong, and she doesn't even have him by her side anymore. That hurts more than anything else.

The worst part is that it's her own fault.

Audrey uncurls from her huddled position, reaching to put a hand next to his on the couch cushion, wanting to take his hand but not sure she has the right to anymore. "Last week," she says, watching where they almost touch, "when I grabbed your arm, you pulled away like I'd burned you."

"I wasn't expecting it; you surprised me. And, Audrey," his hand moves closer to hers, separated now by a matter of millimeters, "you have to know that if we start with the touching, I'm not going to want to stop."

Her breath doesn't just catch in her throat; for a few seconds, she's not breathing at _all_. It starts up again with a little gasp and she just barely manages to get out, "So don't stop," before launching herself across the space that separates them.

The kiss is all passion and no finesse, and Audrey couldn't care less. All she cares about is his lips against hers, about skin against skin, and she doesn't know if it's because of what he told her about how potent it is to feel another person's touch or if it's because this is _Nathan_ touching her like this after she'd convinced herself it could never happen, but every brush of his fingers over her bare skin feels like so much _more_ than she's used to. It's like every touch is a brand, marking her as his. From the way he's responding her, she can only assume it's something like that for him, too. If it's this intense for her, she doesn't know how he can stand it.

Nathan's shirt is open – and missing a few buttons – and her bra's unclasped beneath her top, the two of them half reclined on the couch, before he pulls back. "Audrey," he pants, then groans a little when she runs her fingers along his spine. "I don't want our first time to be on a couch in the station."

She's been so wrapped up in the idea that she wants to be _closer_ that it's really only now that she realizes how far they've gone, and where they're clearly heading. Her cheeks heat in embarrassment, and she searches for something that will put her back on more familiar ground. Picking up on his phrasing, she arches an eyebrow and asks, "Not the first time? Does that mean another time, then?"

He gapes at her, turning red, then gives her one of those slow smiles that never fails to kickstart the butterflies in her stomach. "Maybe if, next time, one of us remembers to lock the door."

That makes her laugh, at least until Nathan ducks back in to kiss her once more. "Your place or mine?" he asks after he pulls away, and though the words are light she sees the seriousness in his eyes. She's put him through hell and back the past couple of weeks, Audrey knows, and she needs to both explain and apologize before the night is through. It's the very least she owes him; she'll have to find other ways to fully make up for everything she's done. He'll forgive her, she knows that, but he deserves so much better than the way she's treated him.

Audrey brings her hand to his cheek, and there's something about the way he leans into her touch that hits her square in the chest. It's not just that he deserves better than how she's treated him, she thinks, but that he deserves better than _her_. But for whatever reason, he's chosen her, and she's going to hold on to that for all she's worth, for just as long as she can.

"I don't care," she says finally, in response to his question. "Let's just get out of here."

He gives her another one of those smiles, like she's given him the best present imaginable, and pulls back just enough that they have room to set themselves to rights. He stands first and holds out a hand to help her up, and she slides her fingers between his so that they're linked together. Audrey thinks she could get used to this very fast. She hopes she has the chance to.

Nathan doesn't let go until they reach his truck.

Neither does she.

_\--end--_

**Author's Note:**

> I am as spoiler-free as I can possibly manage, so please, if you know anything about any upcoming episodes, I do **not** want to know about it! Assume I haven't seen the most recent ep until 24 hours after the live airing and please edit any comments accordingly. Thank you!


End file.
